Ding Dong

A lot of entertaining things happen at Supper Club, which is why it is the inspriation for so many of my blog posts. Last week's Supper Club was at Tomasso's, which is a great little pizza place in North Beach. The proscuitto, basil and tomato pizza was simply delightful. Orgasmic even. Another thing that is (hopefully) orgasmic? Dongs. I know, I know, this post is starting off slightly inappropriate, but such is the game of life (haha). Anyway, I'm not even sure how we got on the subject, but we started the banter with lots of dong length theories (3 times the length of the thumb, the length from the thumb to the outstretched pointer finger if making an "L" shape, proportionate to the size of the hands, feet, etc.). We of course had no answers to our questions, but it was interesting none-the-less. The next day our pregnant Supper Club friend forwards us an email that she received from her weekly pregnancy update of what I think is a very comprehensive list of what humans have to be thankful for, the first two items on the list pertaining to our discussion from the previous evening:

Count your blessings
• The dong of a rhinoceros is 2 feet long.
• The dong of a mosquito is a hundredth of an inch long.
• The praying mantis bites her mate's head off while he impregnates her.
• Elephants are pregnant for two years.
• Many animals give birth to a dozen or more babies at a time.
• Your baby won't be born with hooves.

That last one was quite the eye opener. I had never thought of it like that. So Emily, when you are in the delivery room remember to think positive and thank God that on top of the worst pain you've ever experienced that there aren't also hooves scraping your uterus.

Hello, hello, hello....is there anybody out there?

Welcome back my loyal readers (if there are any of you left after a 9-month hiatus)! Wow, until I just did the math I didn't realize it had been quite that long. I have no excuses, no interesting life events that prompted a blog hiatus - I guess you could say good old fashioned laziness kicked in. In this world of high-tech, high-speed, information overload, social network overload, work overload etc. etc. it's kind of nice to blame something that people from every walk of life can relate to. I could tell my grandparents that I stopped writing my blog because I got too wrapped up in facebook, twittering, finding contacts on linkedin, downloading apps on my iphone, going to social networking events and generally traveling down the information highway with the top down blasting Pink. They would stare at me, mouths slightly ajar, pat me on the back and ask if I want another Diet Dr. Pepper. Or I could say I stopped writing in my diary because I got lazy. Which is what happened.

Yawn, that was tiring. I wish I could write more but I need to ease back into it. Don't worry, I already know the topic for my next riveting discussion.