Monday, August 11, 2008

How to (not) cure hiccups

In the spirit of a wiki-how, I would like to inform you of how to cure hiccups (or not to, depending on how you interpret this story). On Saturday my friend was suffering from a long stint of hiccups that were on and off for many hours. They didn't go on for days like that girl on the news a few years ago and they weren't reminiscent of a teradactyl screech like yours truly's hiccups, but they were annoying none-the-less. Now, said friend was a bit intoxicated at the time and was going on about it and finally Sean decided to tell her that the sure fire way to cure hiccups is to "massage your uvula." For those of you who think I typed "vulva" and are grossed out and also a little intrigued, no need to get too excited because he was talking about the dangling piece of tissue in the back of the throat (or the "thingy" as my Mom would call it).

About 15 minutes later I had to use the restroom and my friend decided to join me. It was a one staller so we were in there together and as I was relieving myself she decided to take Sean's advice and massage her uvula to relieve herself. Let's see...was it two or three seconds later that she ralphed all over the sink? I was personally disgusted because I can't stand puke; I literally cry every time I have the misfortune of experiencing it. After making my thoughts on the situation clear (WTF are you doing and?!?) we made our way back to the table and I must have looked traumatized because everyone in our party immediately asked what happened. I relayed the story and meanwhile Sean is in the corner laughing hysterically because he obviously was playing a prank on her. When everyone realized what happened they were cracking up (and my stomach was still turning). My friend was strangely unphased by the whole episode and seemed perfectly happy because her hiccups were in fact gone.

So if drinking water upside down, holding your breath and eating a spoonful of sugar don't work the next time those pesky hiccups are ailing you, if you have the stomach for it try massaging your vulva (wait, I mean uvula).

4 comments:

Allyson said...

This is like the 3rd puking post I've read today. Odd. And gross.

Marina said...

SICK!

I need to get back to blogging again. ASAP.

Cannot wait to see you in only 3 weeks!

Nicole said...

I know, I can't wait either! I'm so excited :)

Regina said...

OMG - I am trying not to actually LOL. That is fantastic. Who knew Sean was such a mastermind of the trickery. I just picture you peeing while this girl barfs next to you and there is nothing you can do because your pants are by your ankles.