Ding Dong

A lot of entertaining things happen at Supper Club, which is why it is the inspriation for so many of my blog posts. Last week's Supper Club was at Tomasso's, which is a great little pizza place in North Beach. The proscuitto, basil and tomato pizza was simply delightful. Orgasmic even. Another thing that is (hopefully) orgasmic? Dongs. I know, I know, this post is starting off slightly inappropriate, but such is the game of life (haha). Anyway, I'm not even sure how we got on the subject, but we started the banter with lots of dong length theories (3 times the length of the thumb, the length from the thumb to the outstretched pointer finger if making an "L" shape, proportionate to the size of the hands, feet, etc.). We of course had no answers to our questions, but it was interesting none-the-less. The next day our pregnant Supper Club friend forwards us an email that she received from her weekly pregnancy update of what I think is a very comprehensive list of what humans have to be thankful for, the first two items on the list pertaining to our discussion from the previous evening:

Count your blessings
• The dong of a rhinoceros is 2 feet long.
• The dong of a mosquito is a hundredth of an inch long.
• The praying mantis bites her mate's head off while he impregnates her.
• Elephants are pregnant for two years.
• Many animals give birth to a dozen or more babies at a time.
• Your baby won't be born with hooves.

That last one was quite the eye opener. I had never thought of it like that. So Emily, when you are in the delivery room remember to think positive and thank God that on top of the worst pain you've ever experienced that there aren't also hooves scraping your uterus.